Compassion: Where to Begin?

How does one go about becoming more compassionate? Where do we begin building such a significant habit that our goal is to change our outlook on life? I definitely couldn't remember all that goes into it, I mean, I have trouble remembering to take a vitamin everyday.

In reality, there aren't rules to remember or guidelines to follow to become "perfectly" loving to all beings. It doesn't even take a total overhaul of your belief system to push you in the right direction.

So how do you go about it? Slowly.

One small action at a time is all it takes to become more compassionate. Stop and focus on the moment you're in right now. When you meet someone, don't look at the overall picture of compassion, simply focus on your current interaction. Say to yourself, "How can I make my interaction with this person more beneficial, substantial and positive for our combined existence?" Will telling the person that you're furious with them and that they're a terrible friend improve your relationship?

All it takes is mindfulness.

Be mindful in your interactions. Examine what you're doing and ask if it's for the best.

Task for Today

If you'd like a more concrete way to practice, begin today by complimenting 5 people that you don't know very well. It can be based on a physical observation but the preference would be a compliment based on an aspect of their personality. Find something you truly admire about the person and let them know.

Repeat this task daily and you will be on your way.

Smile, breathe, and go slowly.

Conquering Self-Doubt

"There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills."
-The Buddha

I've come to realize the power of the phrase "I can". It's not just the basis of many motivational speeches, it's an outlook that's completely sensible and has results that are historically proven.

According to Tony Robbins, the pioneer of the life coaching industry, when you are certain of your abilities and you have sufficient reason and motivation to pursue a goal, you tap into more of your potential which leads you to take bigger and better action which gives you more satisfying results which goes back and reinforces your certainty in your abilities. You accomplish more which makes you want to go back and try something more challenging, to take it to the next level. All of this starts with nothing more than knowing you are capable and having motivation toward a goal.

In 1954 Roger Bannister became the first person in recorded history ever to run a mile in less than 4 minutes. In the two years following this milestone, 37 other people ran a mile in less than 4 minutes. Did we all of a sudden discover a group of supermen with genetic mutations that made them run faster? No, people just realized that they were capable of more and tapped into the potential that was always there. Their new found certainty yielded them result that had never been seen before.

What can you take from this?

If you have a goal, don't let self-doubt get in your way of accomplishing it. When you decide on a goal, never simply say, "I would like to... if I can". This statement includes doubt. What you should say is, "I need to and am going to...because...which will make me happier and improve my life". When you have to do something and plan for it in a way that will benefit you, you are much more likely to do it than if "you'd like" to do something.

Don't make failure an option, and it won't be an issue. When failure is an option, you begin taking less action "just in case", which doesn't yield the most satisfying results which makes you believe failure is closer than it actually is.

Don't just think you can do it, know you can do it, and you will do it.

Smile, breathe, and go slowly.

Universal Compassion

"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion."
-14th Dalai Lama

Recently I've been studying the teachings of Tibetan Buddhism, the teachings of the Dalai Lama in particular, and I've grown to love the insight that they've provided me.

One of the core teachings that Tibetan Buddhism centers around is that of universal compassion, the wholehearted wish that all beings be freed from their suffering and be happy. It's hard for many to even fathom such a substantial demand, let alone know how to go about attaining such a mindset. The way to accomplish this: slowly, deliberately, and mindfully.

The journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.
-Chinese Proverb

There are several outlooks that may prove useful to anyone wishing to become a more compassionate and loving person:

• Regardless of our religious preference, we are on a journey to find true happiness, whether that happiness be Heaven, Enlightenment, or a sense of accomplishment and purpose in life. When you see another person, just think, "They are trying to find happiness like me". There's no need to group people into any categories larger than that.

• When you see another person who is not acting in a good and moral way, do not think "They're evil and I wish them the worst life has to offer". Remember that they are on the same journey that you are, they may just be in a different place. They may not have learned that certain things do not lead to long-lasting happiness. They may still be relying on the temporary pleasures of life, the thrill of playing a prank or insulting another person for humor, the happy state of intoxication. They're still learning, so do not wish them ill for that. Look at them as a teacher looks at a student, we make mistakes so we can learn.

• An antagonist in your life is what allows you to grow. Without your enemies and the people that irritate you, you would never develop patience or tolerance, you would not have the opportunity to grow as a moral individual. Value these people and look at them as you would a teacher, they're there to test you, teach you, and challenge you. But most of all, don't forget that they are looking for happiness just like you.

Slowly apply these ideas into your daily outlook. As you walk around during the day, consciously watch others and try to identify what they are doing to become happy. You'll see that everyone is doing something, whether it be telling a joke, reading, learning, exercising, talking with others, working, all in the name of it leading to their future or current happiness and experimenting to see what works effectively towards that end. See if it helps you see everyone in a more caring light.

Smile, breathe, and go slowly.

Karma : Logical and Universal

Karma, also known to the western world as "you reap what you sow", "what goes up must come down" or "a bitch", is one of the few concepts from eastern culture which has made its way into our repertoire of references. It will often be casually thrown into a conversation when someone finds out that, for instance, a major sports star gets caught cheating on his wife and then proceeds to lose many of his sponsorship deals (hypothetical situation, of course).

Many people understand karma through this sort of usage but very few understand exactly why and how karma works. Until I truly began studying karma, I understood very little other than the fact that if someone did something bad, something bad would happen to them, and vice versa. I couldn't tell you why, how, who/what keeps track of it, etc. as though karma were a sort of incomprehensible force that must simply be taken as is.

This is not the case.

As it turns out, karma is not only completely understandable, it's completely logical and sensible.

Where does karma come from?

Karma begins with the concept of complete interdependence, the dependence of all beings on all other beings. This is a difficult statement to swallow if you are used to the western mindset which tends to emphasize independence. Your life, your sustainability, all of your material goods lay wholly in the hands of every other being on the planet. It is because of other beings that you have everything you have:

1. The reason you're alive is because of your parents and because no one has taken it from you.
   
2. The reason you have clothes is because of the people who sold them to you, the people that made them, the people that wove the fabric, the people who picked the cotton or harvested the silk worms, and the silkworms themselves.
   
3. The reason you have food to eat is because of the farmers that grew them, the people who taught the farmers how to grow them, the indigenous people in your area who at one point learned what could be eaten and grown there, and the person who gave you money to buy it.
   
4. The reason you have a house is more than likely because someone else built it for you, and if you built it yourself, it's because someone taught you how. One can also say that you have a house because no one has burned it down.
   
5. Look around at everything else you have and think of the possible chains of people or things that have allowed you to possess it.

Your life from this point on is just as based on the actions of other people. Without the beneficial actions of others, you would not have what you have today and if others were less compassionate and acted irrationally, you would have nothing just the same. You are wholly dependent on others as they are dependent on you. This forms a vast web of dependence that spans the entire earth.

I refer to this web of dependence as karma.

When you do something harmful to someone else, you are by definition harming someone that you are dependent on. This will inevitably, in the long- or short-run, harm you in some way. Your actions towards other beings on this planet eventually determine how those beings affect you, so if you do something good, then good will follow, and if you do something harmful, then harm will follow. As such, doing significant damage to your own personal web will cause significant harm in return.

So remember to treat all others with pure compassion for they are part of your web.

I hope this was helpful.

Smile, breathe, and go slowly.

Appreciate Your Surroundings

How often do you stop and look around? I don't mean when you're looking for someone in a crowded room, I mean when you're walking through campus on your way to class or when you're in the car driving to work or maybe when you're sitting at lunch. I feel like all too often we're so intent on getting ourselves to a destination that we miss the joy that comes from the journey.

When the Buddha first attained Enlightenment (and presumably from that point on out), it is said that his mind was so sensitive that he noticed that flap of every wing of every bee, the fall of every rain drop, the sound of every breeze. His mind was in a perfect state of awareness which allowed him to enjoy all that occurred around him in incredible, beautiful detail.

If this is the optimal state of mind and awareness, then where does that put us when we drive for thirty minutes to work and don't realize that they're building a new mall along the way, or when we sit on the bus with only one other person and don't realize that they are reading our favorite book?

Let's try to move toward the sort of awareness and mindfulness that the Buddha experienced.

"People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don’t even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child — our own two eyes. All is a miracle." -Thich Nhat Hanh

When you realize that you're on autopilot, stop and look around. Be mindful of where you are and what you're doing. Find something beautiful that you would not have noticed otherwise and appreciate it.

Begin to appreciate the journey, not just the destination.


Smile, breathe, and go slowly.

How I View Buddhism

When I'm asked the question "What is Buddhism?" by a curious friend or acquaintance, I often take a little while to respond and, in many cases, leave feeling as though I didn't do justice to something I have profound respect for. So I'm going to use my first post here to organize my thoughts and hopefully clarify, at least for myself, what Buddhism is.

I define Buddhism as the school of thought begun by a man who learned an efficient and effective way to make himself truly and eternally happy. That man of course was the Buddha.

A "buddha" is a person who achieves the eternal happiness that comes from eliminating their own suffering, a state which is known as Enlightenment. There have been many buddhas throughout time, and the one we refer to as THE Buddha (Siddhartha Gautama) was not the first, nor was/will he be the last, but rather was the one who developed the "way" to that happiness which is practiced to this day.

Extreme Sparknotes Version of Buddhist Teachings:

The Buddha taught that all of life's suffering is caused by desire and ignorance, and by training your mind to forgo those two emotional habits, and by fostering compassion for all beings, you can attain complete, pure happiness and peace.

Buddhism is a collection of logical, complexly-simplistic, calming, and beautiful teachings that any person can apply to their life, regardless of race, religion (yes, religion), gender, or age, to make him/herself a better, happier, and more loving person. And that is all I have to say on the matter.

Smile, breathe, and go slowly.