Enjoy the Scenery

If you've lived for forty minutes, you know that a plan rarely goes off without a hitch, especially when it comes to the big plans. It's often quite difficult to adjust to changes and sometimes, you are even forced to scrap plans altogether. Then what?

When the world takes a turn we don't expect, we often get a little bummed out. "Why did this have to happen? Everything would have been perfect if it had just gone the way I wanted." All too often, I see people, rather than living in the present reality, living in the past non-reality, the point where the old adage "coulda, woulda, shoulda" comes in, or setting themselves up for hardship by basing their happiness on certain expectations of the future. Rather than enjoying the present moment, many decide that they're not happy now because their life could and should be some other way.

Live in the Present Moment

If you want to be truly happy, at any moment in time, stop and be mindful of the present moment. Look around you and see all that is wonderful in your life.

Does this mean that you shouldn't have plans or expectations? Absolutely not! Plans and expectations are there to point you in the right direction, to give you guidance as to where you want to go and how to get there. Developing yourself into a better, happier person is what life's all about. But as I've said before, don't focus so much on the destination and start to enjoy the journey.

If you want to be a healthier person, you should set a goal, for example, to develop a habit of going running five days a week by the end of this month. By the end of this month, if you only go three days a week, does that mean you are a failure? Does this mean that you haven't become a healthier person? Not at all! You've successfully developed a new habit of going 3 days a week, you have succeeded in becoming a healthier person. You should relish in the fact that you have developed and improved yourself. You pointed yourself in a certain direction and you progressed in that direction, and the fact that you didn't make it as far as you wanted doesn't mean you would've been better off not trying at all. See the positives in all situations and you will never have a failure, just a smaller step in the right direction.

If you end up on a road you didn't expect, enjoy the scenery :)

Smile, breathe, and go slowly.

Giving Yourself More Free Time

"Those who fail to distinguish
The nonessential from the essential
And the essential from the nonessential
Will, in feeding the wrong thoughts,
Fail to attain the essential."
-the Buddha, Dhammapada

How often do you find yourself struggling to find time to do the things you actually want to do? I've had many days where I feel like I've been busy all day but haven't gotten anything done. Why is that? It's because every now and then, I forget to clear out the clutter from my life, not just from my physical possessions, but from my schedule. If you just follow a few simple steps, you can find some extra time for yourself that was hidden behind that pesky schedule clutter.

Do things like checking your email or your Facebook less often. If you check it once a day, or even once every other day, what will you be missing? When you send an email, how much time do you expect to pass before you get a response? A day, two days in some cases? Email is not the way that people send urgent information so don't check it as though you're going to miss dinner plans :) Imagine how much time you could gain by checking your email once a day rather than 5 times. Probably a good half hour at least.

Do less. It sounds simple but I believe that this is often the most overlooked step. When you say to yourself, "I need to do THIS and THIS and THIS", ask why for each one. It's a very simple but powerful question, Why? What would happen if I didn't? Often times you'll realize that your doing something because it's a habit, or because you THINK you need to not because you actually NEED to.

Decide at the beginning of your day which big thing you wish to accomplish for the day. A well-planned day should never have more than one or two life-altering tasks in it. Notice I said life-altering, not tasks that you perceive as life altering, because those should have been taken care of in step 2. The success of your day should hinge on the completion of this task. It should be the first thing that you wake up and do in the morning. Get it done quickly and enjoy your day while still feeling that sense of accomplishment.

Give yourself less time to get stuff done. The reason certain things take so long to do is because we believe that it takes that long. One of my favorite tools for getting stuff done quickly is this question, "What would I do if this were due in 2 hours? How about an 1 hour? How about 1/2 an hour?" This forces you to decide what is most important with the task at hand and not get bogged down with the details. Details are what make a 1/2 hour cleaning project turn into an all day event. Once you've decided what you WOULD do if you had a very limited amount of time, then DO IT in that amount of time. Why waste your day on a task that should only take 10 minutes? :)

Don't give yourself busywork. You've just cleaned up your schedule. Don't fill it in with little things that you feel like you have to do (see step 2). Quitting activity is a tough habit to break. Don't let your feeling that you SHOULD be doing something take away from time you could be doing something for fun. Read a book, watch a movie, learn something new, take up a hobby. The best way to keep yourself from straying from this system is to enjoy the time that you gain from it.

Smile, breathe, and go slowly.

Conquering Self-Doubt

"There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills."
-The Buddha

I've come to realize the power of the phrase "I can". It's not just the basis of many motivational speeches, it's an outlook that's completely sensible and has results that are historically proven.

According to Tony Robbins, the pioneer of the life coaching industry, when you are certain of your abilities and you have sufficient reason and motivation to pursue a goal, you tap into more of your potential which leads you to take bigger and better action which gives you more satisfying results which goes back and reinforces your certainty in your abilities. You accomplish more which makes you want to go back and try something more challenging, to take it to the next level. All of this starts with nothing more than knowing you are capable and having motivation toward a goal.

In 1954 Roger Bannister became the first person in recorded history ever to run a mile in less than 4 minutes. In the two years following this milestone, 37 other people ran a mile in less than 4 minutes. Did we all of a sudden discover a group of supermen with genetic mutations that made them run faster? No, people just realized that they were capable of more and tapped into the potential that was always there. Their new found certainty yielded them result that had never been seen before.

What can you take from this?

If you have a goal, don't let self-doubt get in your way of accomplishing it. When you decide on a goal, never simply say, "I would like to... if I can". This statement includes doubt. What you should say is, "I need to and am going to...because...which will make me happier and improve my life". When you have to do something and plan for it in a way that will benefit you, you are much more likely to do it than if "you'd like" to do something.

Don't make failure an option, and it won't be an issue. When failure is an option, you begin taking less action "just in case", which doesn't yield the most satisfying results which makes you believe failure is closer than it actually is.

Don't just think you can do it, know you can do it, and you will do it.

Smile, breathe, and go slowly.