Compassion: Where to Begin?

How does one go about becoming more compassionate? Where do we begin building such a significant habit that our goal is to change our outlook on life? I definitely couldn't remember all that goes into it, I mean, I have trouble remembering to take a vitamin everyday.

In reality, there aren't rules to remember or guidelines to follow to become "perfectly" loving to all beings. It doesn't even take a total overhaul of your belief system to push you in the right direction.

So how do you go about it? Slowly.

One small action at a time is all it takes to become more compassionate. Stop and focus on the moment you're in right now. When you meet someone, don't look at the overall picture of compassion, simply focus on your current interaction. Say to yourself, "How can I make my interaction with this person more beneficial, substantial and positive for our combined existence?" Will telling the person that you're furious with them and that they're a terrible friend improve your relationship?

All it takes is mindfulness.

Be mindful in your interactions. Examine what you're doing and ask if it's for the best.

Task for Today

If you'd like a more concrete way to practice, begin today by complimenting 5 people that you don't know very well. It can be based on a physical observation but the preference would be a compliment based on an aspect of their personality. Find something you truly admire about the person and let them know.

Repeat this task daily and you will be on your way.

Smile, breathe, and go slowly.

Universal Compassion

"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion."
-14th Dalai Lama

Recently I've been studying the teachings of Tibetan Buddhism, the teachings of the Dalai Lama in particular, and I've grown to love the insight that they've provided me.

One of the core teachings that Tibetan Buddhism centers around is that of universal compassion, the wholehearted wish that all beings be freed from their suffering and be happy. It's hard for many to even fathom such a substantial demand, let alone know how to go about attaining such a mindset. The way to accomplish this: slowly, deliberately, and mindfully.

The journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.
-Chinese Proverb

There are several outlooks that may prove useful to anyone wishing to become a more compassionate and loving person:

• Regardless of our religious preference, we are on a journey to find true happiness, whether that happiness be Heaven, Enlightenment, or a sense of accomplishment and purpose in life. When you see another person, just think, "They are trying to find happiness like me". There's no need to group people into any categories larger than that.

• When you see another person who is not acting in a good and moral way, do not think "They're evil and I wish them the worst life has to offer". Remember that they are on the same journey that you are, they may just be in a different place. They may not have learned that certain things do not lead to long-lasting happiness. They may still be relying on the temporary pleasures of life, the thrill of playing a prank or insulting another person for humor, the happy state of intoxication. They're still learning, so do not wish them ill for that. Look at them as a teacher looks at a student, we make mistakes so we can learn.

• An antagonist in your life is what allows you to grow. Without your enemies and the people that irritate you, you would never develop patience or tolerance, you would not have the opportunity to grow as a moral individual. Value these people and look at them as you would a teacher, they're there to test you, teach you, and challenge you. But most of all, don't forget that they are looking for happiness just like you.

Slowly apply these ideas into your daily outlook. As you walk around during the day, consciously watch others and try to identify what they are doing to become happy. You'll see that everyone is doing something, whether it be telling a joke, reading, learning, exercising, talking with others, working, all in the name of it leading to their future or current happiness and experimenting to see what works effectively towards that end. See if it helps you see everyone in a more caring light.

Smile, breathe, and go slowly.

Appreciate Your Surroundings

How often do you stop and look around? I don't mean when you're looking for someone in a crowded room, I mean when you're walking through campus on your way to class or when you're in the car driving to work or maybe when you're sitting at lunch. I feel like all too often we're so intent on getting ourselves to a destination that we miss the joy that comes from the journey.

When the Buddha first attained Enlightenment (and presumably from that point on out), it is said that his mind was so sensitive that he noticed that flap of every wing of every bee, the fall of every rain drop, the sound of every breeze. His mind was in a perfect state of awareness which allowed him to enjoy all that occurred around him in incredible, beautiful detail.

If this is the optimal state of mind and awareness, then where does that put us when we drive for thirty minutes to work and don't realize that they're building a new mall along the way, or when we sit on the bus with only one other person and don't realize that they are reading our favorite book?

Let's try to move toward the sort of awareness and mindfulness that the Buddha experienced.

"People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don’t even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child — our own two eyes. All is a miracle." -Thich Nhat Hanh

When you realize that you're on autopilot, stop and look around. Be mindful of where you are and what you're doing. Find something beautiful that you would not have noticed otherwise and appreciate it.

Begin to appreciate the journey, not just the destination.


Smile, breathe, and go slowly.